Hope you're having fun!

"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." - Dale Carnegie

"Thank You" - Part 2

A few weeks ago I posted about how saying "thank you" can make you live longer. Saying "thank you" actually makes YOU feel better as well as the person you say "thank you" to. At the time, I didn't realize how life changing it really can be.

Andy Stanley has a powerful message about this that I hope you'll watch. But most of all, I hope you'll take his advice. http://www.northpoint.org/messages/i-owe-who

I can't stop thinking about this simple (or at least it should be simple) task. I know life's not simple and sometimes stopping to say "thank you" to someone important in your life isn't that easy. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride.

Dale Carnegie is a strong believer in this too. In his "How to Win Friends & Influence People", Carnegie cites many prominent business leaders such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller as using this as their secret to success. They sincerely appreciated and encouraged the people they worked with and knew.

One passage in his book really struck a cord with me, "We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem?" It seems there should be some daily requirement for feeding self-esteem just like there is for eating fruits and veggies.

So during these holidays and as a New Year's resolution, remember to say "Thank You" as often as you can and be sincere. Those two simple words are words of encouragement and feeds self-esteem. I believe for both you and for the person you are thanking.

Here are just a few of my thank you's to publicly recognize the people that have helped me on my journey:

• First of course, God. He laid out a great life path for me that I didn't recognize until now. 
• To my husband, Jimmy - thank you for supporting me all these years. What stands out most is taking on so much while I was going to college to get my degree. Zack was still young and Jimmy did a lot of "dad" things for me. And now today, while I look for a job that I will truly enjoy and where I can make an impact. (He's being very patient). 
• To my friend and most recent boss, Debbi - she is someone I aspire to be more like. She is the most righteous person I have ever met. Thank you for being the best mentor anyone could hope to have. I am so blessed to have our paths cross. 
• To my friend Mari Lynne - thank you for being my friend (since second grade) even when I didn't deserve to have you. I know I wasn't there for you (for many times) when I should have been. You've accepted me as I am. 
• To Ron. This may be the hardest thank you, because he is such an arrogant a**h*** (this is nothing he doesn't know already). He hired me years ago and provided me with a solid foundation of professional knowledge and paid me a lot of money doing it. 
• To my Mom. Thank you. I turned out pretty good. 

Who should you thank? Probably someone you take for granted.

Live your life as you imagined it to be.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

Good manners can help you live longer.

One of my favorite things to do, is to go out to dinner. I enjoy sitting in a booth next to my husband, reading the menus and thinking how delicious my meal will be, someone waiting on our every need, and best of all - taking our dirty plates away. My husband would say, dessert is his best part of eating out.

My husband and I have always been thankful for good servers, saying "thank you" for everything they give us - a refill on our waters, a pour from our wine bottle, more olive oil, etc. We like good service and really appreciate and enjoy exceptional service. We are generous tippers and never tip less than 15% (even when the service is terrible). We have friends that are servers and know they depend on tips to pay bills and make ends meet. Their job is not an easy one. They have to pretend to be happy even when they are in a bad mood and nice when they have the rudest customers (and we have definitely seen some very rude and stingy customers).

I'm sure servers like getting good tips and even happier when they receive cash. But I would bet they would enjoy their jobs more if people said "thank you" more often and genuinely appreciate their time and effort. Many studies have shown that being appreciated is a better motivator than money - not sure they surveyed servers, but I'm sure it would make it easier to go to work if they knew more people would say "thank you" and really appreciate the work they do.

According to Goldie and her researchers, saying "thank you", expressing gratitude, actually makes YOU "happier, kinder, more generous to others, better able to cope with stress, and less lonely"! And it doesn't cost anything and only takes a second or two to express. Goldie also writes, "In all, thankfulness adds an average of seven years to our lives." I find that amazing.

Next time you are at a restaurant - take out or sit down - remember to say "Thank You" and you may just live another seven years longer!

How else do you show your appreciation to your servers and restaurant staff?

A Salute to our Veterans.

I can't help not being a little self serving in this post - so full disclosure... As some of you may know, I served in the US Navy for almost five years (1980-1985). It was one of the best experiences I've ever had. We were not at war. Times were different. 

I entered the military at the end of summer following my high school graduation. I made my decision when I was in 10th grade. I don't know what prompted my decision, but I was unwavering once I did -- and it was an almost instantaneous decision. It wasn't something I pondered for long. I just knew that's what I needed to do. 

The military helped me to mature. I am very proud of my service to this country, but I am very uncomfortable in being recognized for this service. Perhaps it makes me unique (not many women serve), but certainly not special. 

I salute the men and women who make this decision and commitment -- especially during times of war and conflict. The service people killed defending our country and the values Americans hold dearly have made us the country we are today. Many sacrifices of human life have been made. Families have endured incredible heartache because of this service.

Service in the military is definitely a calling. It is not meant for everyone. So I salute the men and women who have served and will serve and to those families and friends that support this commitment and calling. Thank you!

Photo: 10 February 81. Graduation from USAF Technical Training School, Chanute AFB Illinois. AGAR Sanden 

Feeling sorry for myself.

Over the past week or so, I've been feeling a little down. I didn't get a job that I wanted. It wasn't THE job I wanted, but it was a job that had a lot of pluses. Very little commute, a place where I already had two friends, lots of new and fun opportunities, and a job that I knew I could do. But it lacked the one thing I really wanted in a job -- a place where I could get a tingling sensation of knowing I made an impact on someone's life. Sure, I spinned the job in a way that I could make an impact, but wasn't what I'm really looking for.

Maybe that job doesn't exist - or at least not where I'm looking. What I'm really looking for in a job is to be able to experience moments where someone touched my heart because of what I helped make happen. They don't even have to remember me or know it was me, but I want to see happiness as an outcome.

Several months ago, I was so confident that God told me my new calling or my purpose in life. It wasn't a drastic change from what I was already doing as a consultant, but it was a change. I've focused my job search trying to find that calling. Now, months later I still don't have a job. Maybe I didn't hear God at all, I just thought I did.

I pray an awful lot these days trying to find answers and to hear God speak to me again. I know sometimes He is inattentive, uncooperative and/or late. http://northpoint.org/messages/when-god, but I'm still not feeling the love. I know I'm being irrational. I know God has a plan. I know if it was meant to be it will happen - but please God, give me direction.

What's a girl to do?

Stop the Sunday night madness!

I can't believe I still struggle with falling asleep Sunday nights. I can't seem to shut my mind off. There is no other night of the week that causes me so much grief.

I no longer have thoughts about work and all the projects and deadlines that need to be met on Monday and the entire week - thank goodness. But now I have other thoughts that race through my mind. I keep myself awake rethinking through things.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life and every day I have a new challenge to think about and overcome. The book is definitely thought provoking. My most recent tribulation is remembering my childhood. Why you ask? Because life is about having relationships. I'm trying to recall if something happened with my sister. My sister is 3 1/2 years older than me - four school years. Some of my first memories are kindergarten. I can remember having my shadow profile being done, taking naps, and my kindergarten class room. I can even remember two of the girls in my class (I think). But I can't remember going to school with my sister. I have memories of first grade and second grade as well -- the only grades where my sister would be in the same school as me.

We took summer vacations every year as a family. I remember her being there, but I can't remember playing with her - ever. I remember summers in our neighborhood. We had so many kids on our block that there was always someone to play with. I'm pretty sure we both played cowboys and indians, kick the can, and Frisbee dodge - but I can't ever remember being close to my sister. I know nothing bad happened, or at least I'm pretty sure I'd remember having a fight with her.

Even as adults we aren't that close. I wish we were. I love my sister, but we don't share secrets or life's challenges or celebrations except for the one or two times a year we're together. We talk on the phone, but not often.

So, I have two challenges: 1. How do you get close with someone? 2. How do you shut off your Sunday mind?

Just three essential things

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Joseph Addison


My something to do: 

• a job
• taking care of my house and property
• taking care of my friends and family
• helping as many people as I can reach their goals. 

My something to love: 

• God
• My husband
• My sons
• My dog
• My family
• My friends
• Nature.

My something to hope for:  

• A job that I enjoy doing
• Being able to travel
• A healthy comfortable life.  

What are your three essentials?

Holding my tongue.

I have a problem. I've been working on this problem for a while, but don't think I've come anywhere close to improving on it. I have a problem holding my tongue. I am sometimes blunt. And sometimes rude. I really do not intend to be rude -- it's not like I plan it or want to hurt someone's feelings. I just say things that I probably shouldn't or should be worded in a more subtle or kinder way.

I've been reading Proverbs every day for the past few months, in hopes of gaining wisdom and restraint. Here's a few verses that I have highlighted, underlined and/or asterisked.

• Proverbs 10:19b: "...he who holds his tongue is wise." 
• Proverbs 17:28: "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."

One piece of advice comes from one of the books I'm reading and that is to constantly think of God. If I can keep saying these verses in my head or keep saying to myself "say nothing, keeping your mouth shut", I should do better and sometimes I do. I'm trying to form a new habit and shutting down the old one - it's just taking longer than I hoped. 

That's why I rely on my friends to keep me in check. Call me on me being rude.  Proverbs 19:20: "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." That is what I am counting on. 

Any other ideas on how to change this habit/impulse? I'll take all the advice I can get.

Re-creating Happiness!

I know some of us are more happy than others and unfortunately I do know a few very unhappy people. It's hard to change an unhappy person into a happy one, but I think you can work on it and make yourself happier (if you want to).

I know sometimes life can get you down and sometimes you dwell on unhappy thoughts - but you need to stop that. Being unhappy can make you sick and not much fun to be around. And who really enjoys being unhappy -- don't we want to be happy? Don't we want to laugh and enjoy life?

I discovered that I naturally practice one of the ways of re-creating happiness. I was reading chapter 10 in 10 Mindful Minutes, and Goldie suggests "memory building". According to Goldie, "each time we look at them [photos], we experience the happiness we first knew."

One of the first things I did when I bought my MAC was to upload as many vacation photos as I could. My screen saver rotates through my photos when I'm inactive. I love reliving the happiness as each photo pops up. It also strengthens my memory since I have to recall when, where, what and who in the one second the photo was taken and to do this quickly before the next photo pops up. My vacations are if they took place just minutes ago.

I love to travel and I find I am happiest when I'm off enjoying life without a thought of work in my mind and only a schedule guideline to dictate my day. By capturing my happiness in a photo, I ensure that I will remember it forever and can re-create it whenever I want to.

I haven't skied for years (not since I discovered Europe as my go-to place), but one of my happiest vacations took place at The Canyons, UT. It was a family trip plus one (Josh brought a friend) and our boys were grown. One reason this vacation was a happy one, was I saw my sons happy. They really enjoyed snowboarding and I was pretty impressed at how good they were. On one run I remember Zack passing me at the speed of light!

(The photo was taken at the base of one of the mountains at the end of the day. Zack, me, Jimmy, Josh, and Matt (Josh's friend). 


Let me know how you re-create happiness. I'll have several more posts on this topic in the coming days.

Be happy and pass it around!

Why haven't I done more?

UGH! I hate regrets and luckily I have very few. In fact, I probably couldn't even tell you what they were exactly, but I know I've said some things wrong in the past. Things I wish I never said, but once said can't be taken back. I'm working on not being so impulsive when I talk, but this is an impulse I've developed over the years and one that will take a long time to reverse or to create a new path in my brain.

Those really aren't the regrets I'm talking about in this post. In Andy's message (part 6) on September 25, 2011, www.northpoint.org/messages/recovery-road he spoke about Entitlement or feeling Entitled. I've been thinking about this message for a couple weeks and today in chapter 6 of The Purpose Driven Life the same message appeared. The Bible verse is Luke 12:48b: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked".

I have been blessed with so much. I am not rich, but I have more than I need. My regret is, I don't think I've done enough or given back enough. I hope it's not too late. I hope I still have the opportunity to be more generous.

I've always been generous with my "talents" or at least in my professional life. I've devoted 20 years to helping nonprofits meet their goals. But, that's not enough now. In fact, that is one of the reasons why I'm searching for a position at a nonprofit and not at an agency or as a consultant. I feel I can make a greater impact if I can focus on one mission instead of six or even two.

I hope that God's plan is for me to find a position where I can put my talents to better use.

I don't feel like I've been generous enough with my money. I don't give 10% away to nonprofits. I'm generous with family, but not with strangers and I think that is what that verse is talking about. I give, but not enough. I hope once I find a new job, I'll be able to change that.

Do you think you've "given" enough? Is there capacity for more? Any regrets?

Smile

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do." -Mother Teresa 

Mindfulness

I'm about halfway through a new book by Goldie Hawn, 10 Mindful Minutes. I've used this practice for years going to sleep at night, but never thought about using it during my workday or during other stressful times in my life. It is very much like meditation but they suggest three times a day for three minutes at a time -- supposed to be more beneficial than just 10 minutes once a day.

In my last job, this practice would have been very useful. I am going to try to create a habit in my daily life - I'm adding this to my list (which keeps getting longer and longer). Not only will this help you be more thoughtful, but it can help you learn better, reduce stress, be happier, and control your emotions. Something I know I can use.

Goldie and her team of doctors and scientists highly recommend this for parents and their children to use -- especially effective for 7-12 year olds. They cite some incredible stats from their MindUp research. Our kids are definitely growing up in a world unlike the one I grew up in. I don't think I ever felt stressed out when I was growing up and for that I am so thankful.

For all you stressed out people: close your eyes, breath deeply for three minutes and try not to think of anything. Repeat two more times in your day. I hope this works!

What do you do to relieve your stress? Any other helpful hints for us stressed out people?

Make it better!

"When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too." - Paulo Coelho

I am not a morning person!

For the past several weeks (perhaps even more than a month), I've been thinking about attending the Northpoint Community Church C3G http://www.northpoint.org/jobhelp (a network for people looking for a job). But, it's at Monday morning at 7:45am!

For those of you who know me (well?) - I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I am at my most productive when the sun goes down. Yes, I still get a lot done during daylight and Yes, I can get up early and make a flight or meeting, but as a general rule: I don't like getting up early and having to show up somewhere. I don't know why, but like Lady Gaga says "I was born this way". I hate talking, I hate being personable, I hate my routine being disrupted, and I will be argumentative if talked to, etc., etc.

I still recall running to my elementary school every morning and just making it before the bell. Thank goodness the school was a block and a half away. My grandmother and great aunt must have hated the responsibility of getting me up in the morning.

Anyway, it's late Sunday night and before I doze off I pray. I tell God, "If you want me to go to C3G, please make sure I wake up in time.

Monday morning, 6:15am - I'm wide awake (no physical alarm, just God). Well, it looks like I'm driving to Northpoint. I should mention - it's a one hour drive. I'm not happy about it, but I know God has a plan.

I got home around 11am and not sure why I went. Nothing really happened. I did meet seven new interesting women, exchanged our stories, registered for the C3G digital network, and enjoyed a good cup of coffee. But why?

God has not revealed that yet, but I know he will in time.

I can say (and maybe this is why or part of why), one of the resources that was sent to us as members was an article that mentioned the book by Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life. I have a copy of that down in my basement. I haven't read it yet. It was given to me by my mother-in-law. (Side note: I have never met my real mother-in-law. My husband's mother died before we met. I affectionately call Bea my mother-in-law because I do love her very much. She happens to be my first husband's mom and Zack's grandmother. She is my out-law-mother but I care to much about her to refer to her like that.)

Today, I went to the basement and found my copy. Bea sent us this book eight years ago, October 27, 2003. God knew I'd need this book sometime, I just wasn't ready years ago.

Page 5: According to Rick Warren, "It is no accident that you are holding this book." WOW! I made the covenant tonight that I would devote the next 40 days to reading and studying this book.

So many threads are coming together on this journey.

When you look back on some events, do you see where God played a hand in what happened?

Do not worry. (Part 1)

A couple of things have happened recently that brings me to this post.

Wednesday night our small group met. I think I told you that this is my first attempt at being part of a small group (women of faith who meet once a week). We're still getting to know each other and more and more I feel like this is the right step for me in my journey. We spent a few minutes talking about worry. This is something all of us struggle with at some point in our lives and sometimes on a daily basis.

My son recently moved back in with us (he's 25) and almost immediately I felt a tinge of worry creep into my thoughts. If you're a parent, worry is a constant battle -- especially if you have a teenager that drives.

My son "gave" me one of the worst experiences in my life about six to seven years ago. I won't go into all the details but he decided to drink (underage) while spending the day at our neighborhood pool. He proceeded to drive home through the neighborhood and ended up with his truck upside down in our neighborhood lake -- yes, I said LAKE! I should note, while this was occurring I was trying to reach him on his cell phone. I knew something was wrong and I was praying throughout my 30 minute drive home that everything would be alright. One of my worst fears had come true, but God was watching out for us. A man happened to be driving behind my son, saw the accident, jumped into the water and pulled my son to safety. I am so thankful that God was watching out for him and I carry this with me everyday.

So needless to say, when my son moved back in and I would be aware of his comings and goings -- which I was not looking forward to -- I prayed immediately. I pray every day and night that God keeps my son safe and to watch over him every second of his life.

I decided about ten years ago, that I would not waste my time on worry. God does not want you to worry. And worry will eat you alive. You can not change anything by worrying about it. If there is something that you can do, do it - and stop worrying about it. What's done is done and what will be will be.

Whenever I feel worry creeping in -- which it does -- I start to pray and God takes it away.

There are a few passages in the Bible that brings me comfort around this subject:

• Matthew 6:33-35: "But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (This is from my Living Insights Bible, which I love and highly recommend).  
• 1 Peter 5:7: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." (NLT) 
• Psalm 37:3-4: "Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Living Insights).

Let me know how you deal with worry and also if you have any favorite Bible verses that give you comfort. 

Non-stop learning.

Every day I devote about one to two hours of reading and learning for professional growth. I'm trying to keep fresh and current on new developments and what the experts are saying. Since I'm not in an office environment working with a team, I have to be more vigilant on my skills. They definitely dull without use.

I could probably spend all day every day reading about new developments, but if you can't apply them you don't really learn them. I take notes and hope to revisit them when I can use them - at least that's how I've learned most of my digital and social media knowledge over the years. It's really overwhelming if you don't take this in small doses. I've been following @ericpratum on twitter - and he is nonstop with the links for social and digital media. His links lead to more links, great blogs, etc. If I had a full time job, I could never keep up.

So how do you keep fresh in your profession? I think it's almost a full time job to stay current these days - at least in my profession and I would guess in others as well.

The Incredible Mind.

In the June 6, 2011 issue of Time Magazine, the cover story was "The Science of Optimism". It's pretty interesting and I can tell you its certainly true for me. 

About two weeks ago I wrote about not being happy to apply for jobs I didn't want - forced to in order to receive unemployment benefits. I'm still not "happy" about it because I don't believe that is where my calling is -- but God is directing my life not me. I'm going with the flow and trying to make the most of it. 

In the meantime, I've been searching through hundreds of jobs. I've found a few that sound interesting -- some downright fun sounding. So my mind has already adjusted to "liking" what I didn't like before (I have no other option). I'm no longer dreading applying for commercial positions. 

Has this happened to you? 

Tell me about your life situation when your mind had to change and adjust to something you didn't want in the first place, but now have accepted and happy about it. The mind is an incredible organ and designed for survival. 

Getting busy.

I hate housework. I hate dusting, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, everything! But sometimes that dust does get pretty noticeable and someone has to do it. I guess I'm lucky that my husband is the same way - no OCD in my household. But, I do think this is one of my faults. A maid would definitely help, but we let them go a year ago and I haven't looked for a replacement - and probably won't.

I have found that it does make you feel better. That sense of accomplishment, that physical activity, and of course a clean house for a while.

I think I need an endorphin rush - nothing beats physical activity to make you feel good (except maybe sunshine). My problem is getting motivated and I can come up with some good reasons not to clean. I've made my list of cleaning tasks - at least I'm organized!

Now to get started...

What's on your list of things you dislike doing or procrastinate about? What gives you a rush?

Know yourself.

"Make it your business to know yourself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." - Miguel De Cervantes

Why a personal vision statement?

Months ago I discovered I had "lost my way" - I had spent so much time, energy, and focus on my job - that I neglected me. I made the mistake of pouring myself into my job and it defined me.

The job spiraled out of control. Lots of things contributed to this -- no solid infrastructure in place to handle new national accounts, lack of sufficient resource with skills to onboard accounts, new channels to integrate and learn, focus on growth and winning, and not enough band width to handle everything.

I did have a very supportive boss and mentor and I did have some talented team members -- but it wasn't enough. In the end, I was miserable and working way too much.

All that taught me was, I needed help. I needed time to rediscover me and put new focus to my life.

I started self reflection (which is ongoing). I came upon an article by Susan M. Healthfield, http://humanresources.about.com/od/success/a/personal_vision.htm. In this article she writes, "Your personal vision statement guides your life. ... provides direction necessary to guide the course of your days and the choices you make about your career. ... is the light shining in the darkness toward which you turn to find your way." Well, if anything -- I needed a personal vision statement.

Further down in the article, according to Brian Tracy, you generally accomplish your written goals, dreams, plans, and vision. Writing them down lends power and commitment.

I'm ready to accomplish mine -- as soon as I publish it. Stayed tuned!

Prep work for my vision statement.

I've been working/trying to formulate my personal vision statement for weeks. Here are a few items I needed to take inventory of and set goals:

Physical: to be healthy and active
Spiritual: to be closer to God and his direction
Work/Career: have a position of some prominence, a leader, member of a team, make a positive impact, be creative, have flexibility, and everyday enjoy what I do
Family: to be closer, do more together
Social relationships: have more friends
Financial security: make more money than I need, be debt free (except for a mortgage), be able to give generously and save for a retirement of leisure and no worries, have money to take several trips a year if I want to
Mental improvement and attention: continue to learn (professionally and personally), keep a sharp mind, have a good memory
Fun and travel: travel as much as I can, see the world, eat and drink good food and wine, enjoy the incredible beauty that's out there, read, listen to music and attend concerts, go to movies, and to always remember to enjoy the moment

What's on your list? Please share.

Wisdom by Dr. Seuss

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

A good leader doesn't receive the credit.

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." - Harry S Truman

Walk this way?

Everyone has their own walk.

Last night our small group met again. This is our third week together and we're just getting to know each other. Each week two or three women get to share their story. They are very different stories and very different storytelling approaches. We've only heard from five women, but each woman's walk with God is very different. I'm not surprised, but it makes me think how different we are but still searching for the same thing.

One thing I think we are searching for is acceptance. We're all unique and we should accept each other for who we are -- but that's easier said than done.

My own journey is two fold. First, I want to live my faith better. Second, I want to just be a better person in general. I know they're probably the same (but I haven't studied the Bible enough). When I say a better person - that's physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. If I'm obnoxious, I want to know it (but I doubt that I am). If I drone on about something, I want someone to shut me up. My feelings might get hurt, but I'll get over it and how can I improve if someone doesn't point these out to me.

It's hard to "correct" someone on their "faults" - after all, who are we to say "something's wrong with you"? But, I think we do want to know.

So, how do you say something? Please share how you would approach this - I need help in this area. I swear I won't start pointing out everyone's faults (it usually takes something significant to catch my attention), it's just the one fault that everyone has a problem with.

What else do you think people are search for?

God answered my prayer yesterday.

Monday was a little rough. I was starting to get down about finding a job. I'm drawing unemployment and I have to submit three applications every week in order to get paid. Normally I wouldn't have an issue with this -- after all, I do want a job, unemployment is about 10% of what I was getting paid, and government shouldn't have to continue to support me (but thank goodness it is there as support).

So I'm feeling down because I now have to apply for positions I don't want with companies I don't want to work for. I now have to expand my search to for-profit companies. Sure some of them sound interesting, but this is not what God told me he wanted me to do AND not what I want to do.

I decided to take Tuesday "off". I slept in until 9am, checked my usual online sites, and then ran errands for the next two hours. I was in the middle of running my errands and wasn't feeling better about my situation. I prayed to God to please lift my heart and give me something to feel good about. Fifteen minutes later, I received a phone call asking me if I was available for a phone interview for a position I had applied to a month ago. Thank you God! My prayer was answered.

We will never forget.

Ten years ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001, I happened to be the first one in our office (a rare time of silence). About five minutes before 9am, a coworker arrived and said "did you hear what happened - a plane flew into one of the World Trade Center towers". I had not heard the news and we immediately ran to turn on the TV to see what was going on. Oh my God! Not just an expression, my thoughts immediately turned to God.

My pastor's message on Sunday reminded us that we were a nation of prayer and one founded on Christian principles. After all, our country's motto is "In God we Trust."

More prayers were probably made that morning than any other day. But what has happened over the past ten years? We need to change this. Our leaders need to bring faith into every day tasks and let the rest of us see it. I've been a leader for most of my adult life, although I never really realized it or thought about it until recent years. It seemed to happen naturally and not something I desired, worked at or ever hoped to achieve. But like it or not, the positions that I've held have been ones of leadership.

I've embraced that more this past summer than ever before. I've read several books on leadership this summer and it's helped me identify my strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement. One area that I am and will focus on most will be using Jesus as my model for the ideal leader. I now desire another position of leadership. I enjoy it and think I'm pretty good at it -- now just to get better. And being a better leader is always thinking of others and never yourself.

My pastor used King Solomon as an incredible example of a great leader on Sunday. Forth in the series, here's the link to listen to Sunday's message: http://www.northpoint.org/messages/recovery-road. Wouldn't it be incredible if President Obama or any of the GOP candidates and all of Congress could get down on their knees and ask God for help? Our nation might recover. Humility. I know that's easier said than done as a leader. We don't want to look weak in the eyes of others, but listening to Andy Stanley, it's not a sign of weakness but a sign that we have a greater leader and answer to a higher being that is all powerful and wants this nation to be great again.

What do you think makes a good leader? What traits do you find the best leaders have? What are some of your examples of great leaders?

Inspiring Quote

"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one's own self." - Montaigne

My small group fun!

Last night about 13-14 of our small group women met to socialize, have fun, and paint. I enjoyed all three!

It was just the second time we've met and not everyone could be there, but I'm looking forward to making new friends and growing spiritually. I've never been part of a small group - unless you consider a clique of girls in high school! That was fun back then, but I'm not looking to re-live those days.

It was a nice ice breaker and I think everyone felt pretty comfortable expressing themselves in their creativity. Lara and her husband own the shop and it was so nice of them to welcome us in.

Over the next six weeks, we will get to know each other more, discuss a faith based book, and support each other the best we can through conversation, being together, and praying for each other.

I can't wait!

Tell me about your small group or how your circle of friends, family or co-workers support each other.

How do you pick yourself up?

Lately, I've been finding it harder and harder to get motivated - to do anything. I've been very fortunate in my life that depression has never found me (but it might be lurking around the corner now). It's a growing problem in the US. I'm sure in part to the economy, unemployment, Washington not able to agree on anything, more disasters, etc, etc.

Because of my status of unemployed, I don't really have a schedule anymore -- and I find it a bit disturbing. Will I end up being one of those many millions of Americans still unemployed after a year? Gosh, I sure hope not. I'm a smart person, experienced, quick learner, talented problem solver, but why no phone calls? I can't honestly say that I have been beating the pavement. I've actually been kinda slack at looking for a job. I've spend hours on my resume, even more on my cover letters, and still when I look at how many jobs I've applied to - I'm surprised. I submitted many to my "chosen" employer, but they haven't reached out yet. It's a different world out there than it used to be. I'm not used to working hard at finding a job. I've had four jobs in my life and four interviews. I did have one interview back in June - I was actually shocked that I got one. Obviously I wasn't right for the job - it was a stretch position, but I was still hopeful. After all, each interview I've had so far always landed me a job.

Anyway, back to my original point. What do you do when you really have nothing to do to motivate you to get moving? I am motivated to get the right job (the one I choose), but the "right" job doesn't come along that often. I am trying to focus on my relationship to God, because I believe he will help me in this search. But I get scared sometimes - how long can I wait? Will God really help me (is he speaking to my ideal employer on my behalf)? I believe, but life can get you down sometimes and definitely cause you to doubt everything.

I'm trying to keep busy every day, but find myself making excuses not to leave the house. I hate to clean, so that's not really an option to keep me busy. Although I still have junk in the basement to toss out -- that usually perks me up.

I'm actually thinking about volunteering, so I have to be responsible for something. Just being a wife and looking for a job isn't all that fulfilling.

So, what do you recommend? Last night I made a list to keep me on track - but it's still just a list - I have to do something with it. Need help with motivation, inspiration, guidance to give each day a purpose to get busy.

Something to aspire to.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius

Fearless Inventory #2

I think I copped out on my #1 post. Here are a few things that are wrong with me and probably contributed to my employer wanting a change:
1. I didn't try hard enough to work the problems out directly. They were "fought" at a higher level.
* I had two difficult people to work with. When I say difficult - they were difficult for me (and I suspect several others). Some people didn't  have a problem with them, but I did. Both were department heads. I respected each of their talents but not the "leaders" they were supposed to be. There are similarities between the two of them: Both highly passionate (high strung), both most often said "we can't do that, we're short staffed, we have too much to do, you're not giving us enough time to do that". I could have used all three of those arguments myself, but never did. Unfortunately for me, every time I (or my team) did something, they would go running to a C-level person (same person by chance) and complain. I will not take this approach in the future. 
2. I let them get under my skin - I let them get to me. Sometimes I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. I don't think I was ever unprofessional, but I wouldn't back down. I wouldn't give in. I'm not sure what was the right thing to do would have been (in my heart, I still think I did the right thing). I always fought for what I thought was best for my client, not what was best for the agency. I am working on this in my personal and professional life. I am trying to gain wisdom and often that comes with my silence - think things through. 
3. Probably biggest of all, I went to their staff. They both had talented staff and they never gave those four canned responses. I truly hope it wasn't because of my title or position. I think they felt it was the right thing to do for the client as well. I will not do this again, unless I talk to their supervisor first. 
4. I trusted a C-level person that was also an "Empire Builder". This person looked after their own - and I wasn't one of the chosen. I didn't go with the flow. I didn't bend to the process. I didn't bend to the cookie cutter, highly profitable, low operational impact mantra that they wanted. Trust is a tricky thing. I need more wisdom on this. 
5. I couldn't play the game. I usually can, but it went against my better judgement and my character "flaw". I fully embrace that I need an environment that has few restrictions. For the most part, I can work within the guidelines, but if I know something can be done - then why can't we do it?
6. I did not embrace the new process. The process became a monster (in my eyes), more training, more time, more restrictions, more constraints, more "that's your job, not mine". And they were getting ready to implement another software system after I left. Every year they added another "efficiency improvement". Like we worked in a manufacturing plant, not customer service. UGH, I couldn't stand it. It was another example of empire building.

I'll share more faults in future posts, but these are directly related to my career. I'm trying to find the right job that's meant for me. I've identified a few cultures that aren't for me.

What culture do you thrive in? Or which ones aren't right for you?

One thing leads to another (Part 2)

I love Facebook. I never thought I would, but it's nice to reconnect to people you know, to people you sort of know and people you used to know.

Because of one of my Facebook friends (can I give you a shout out?), I'm participating in an online book club. I love to read, so I thought it would be fun to join. Our first book was by James Frey, The Final Testament of the Holy Bible. Interesting book with parallels to The Bible.

Which led me to: Well, my friend mentioned she might have to purchase The Bible for Dummies to help her get through the book. After I read the book, I went out and purchased The Bible for Dummies. It's been very helpful.

Which led me to: So now that I've made it to "The Book of Proverbs" - the chapter that according to the authors are "words to live by", I've decided to follow along in the Bible.

Which leads me to: I have editorial content in my Bible. According to the editorial author, he has a friend who reads Proverbs every day of every month - which coincidentally has 31 chapters. One chapter for every day of the month! According to the editorial author, he swears his friend gets wiser every year.

Which leads me to: I'm going to try to do that too. I need more wisdom. I need more guidance. And I want to live my faith better. Check back with me in a year!

P.S. Thank you Tracey!

Fearless Inventory #1 (Self awareness)

So why am I unemployed? Some people would say I was fired. But I don't like saying that, because I don't really feel like I was - I was let go (and it was mutual). I know that sounds like a cop out, but the reason I was let go was because my team had suffered so many changes in the last 18 months that they felt a change in leadership might put the team back on track.

I know this sounds like I'm making excuses (I am, I admit it). We had such a very difficult 18 months. Two team members on maturity leave (different times), one member out on family leave (twice), on-boarding three accounts (two at the same time), new staff member to handle new account, existing senior staff member transferred to another team, new staff to replace old staff, team merged with another team (their leader left to pursue another opportunity), new required system to learn, one staff member left agency, etc.  YES, that is change! On top of that, we had a senior department head leave the agency (one that I depended on a lot to help us meet our client's needs).

I fully admit - I am NOT superwoman. I tried for a long time, but wasn't good enough in the end. That is a hard admission to make (especially for me). By the time March rolled around, I started to cry. I have never cried because of work. This wasn't just tears - this was full out crying. I never did cry at work thank goodness - but I'd cry in the car or at home. It would just hit me. I was so miserable. I knew I couldn't continue, but how could I let myself down (admit that work got the better of me)?, how could I let down the people that depended on me most (my wonderful team)? how could I let my husband down, my boss down, my clients down? I couldn't leave.

There were many reasons - dedication, loyalty, still liked what I was doing, who I was working with, my clients, but probably most the fear of looking for a job. Putting myself out there. I'm sure others feel this way - does anyone like looking for a job? Fear of not paying the bills, fear of not finding a place that wants me, fear of not finding the right job for me to be happy. These are scary times.

In the end, I didn't have a choice. God made that choice for me because he knew I would put up with the misery for years. So how do I fix this fault of mine? How do I recovery from this weakness? I pray everyday that God gives me the strength. This is part of my journey.

The loss of Ellie

I'm not sure where this belongs in chronology of my journey, so I'm posting it here because it still weighs so heavy on my heart.

We lost Ellie on July 23, 2011. We only had her for five short years. She had a tumor on her pituitary gland  that caused her to develop Cushing's Disease. She was first diagnosed with Cushings in November 2010. The medicine didn't work and we started suspecting something else was wrong - symptoms got worse and her conditioned worsened. We did what we could, but couldn't save her.

Ellie was a Boxer. She was almost a miniature - so adorable, so full of personality, and the most affectionate dog I have ever known. She used to sit on my shoulder as if she were a parrot or on my husband's lap. Thank goodness she only weighed 58lbs at her heaviest.

The reason I'm sharing this story is because there is a reason for everything. I think one of the reasons I was home all summer was to spend time with her and to take care of her. I was given the gift to be with her during her final months.

I have my moments of sadness - she really left a hole in my heart and our lives. I have wonderful memories of her. My husband, on the other hand, is having a difficult time moving on. How can I help him?  He's read the Rainbow Bridge (thanks to a friend and our vet sharing this poem). I believe Ellie will be waiting for us. Grief is a terrible thing. 

Being Fearless (Part 1)

This summer I started going back to church. A good friend invited us to Northpoint Community Church to hear Andy Stanley and enjoy the great music program they have. [If you're not familiar with Andy, listen to one of his messages (available online for free) and you'll be hooked. He has a great sense of humor and ties every day stuff to the scriptures (he also wears jeans to church on Sunday). Don't mistake Andy with his dad, Dr. Charles Stanley, - they are very different.] 


Andy's second message in the current series is Recovery Road. Lots of different types of recovery, but in his second message Andy talks about the true road to recovery (alcoholism, prejudices, phobias, blaming others, etc.) and one very important step is making a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. You have to take responsibility for everything. [I should mention that this is Step 4 of the 12 Step program from AA.]

I am fortunate not to have any addictions in my life. I fully admit, I do enjoy a glass or two of wine in the evening. I do have some issues though and I'll devote a post to each of them (it won't be that bad or that long a list). If my husband reads them, he might be able to add a few - but we'll see if he pays attention. And for my friends that know me well, please feel free to add to my list. My feelings will not get hurt (and if they do, I'll get over it) -- I am trying to be a better person and if there is something you notice that I don't, please let me know.

In this post, I do want to say why this journey is so important: God spoke to me a couple of months ago. He has always been with me, but he spoke to me.

Personal Vision Statement

How many of you have personal vision statements? I'm working on mine and hope to have mine complete in a few days. It takes a lot of thought and reflection.

Please share yours if you have one. How do you know where you're going if you don't have a plan?

Sequence of Events - One thing leads to another (Part 1)

When I left my last job, it was such a relief. I was so happy (for myself). But I grieved for my team. I felt I had betrayed their trust in me and felt I was deserting them in their hour (year ?) of need. (I'll talk more about this in future blogs.)

So the first week I was home, I had some time on my hands. I decided to visit one of my Facebook friend's group page and see what was going on. I needed some reassurance and encouragement. And Terry specializes in Inspiration.   InspirationAtWork@groups.facebook.com

From there he had a post from February 2011 where he was talking with Laurie Beth Jones -- one of his mentors and an author of several books. I listened to the recording and immediately decided to read one of her books. The only one at the book store was Jesus, Life Coach.

This book spoke to me! This was the dose of medicine I needed. It confirmed everything I felt and knew (even though I was doubting myself and even God).

More to come, but if you've read this book - let me know. She has a knack for writing! If you haven't read this book and you're a believer or maybe you've been so busy (like I had become) and you've lost your way - READ this book.

My "King of the World" Moment

A couple days ago my career coach (I'll give more detail on why I have a career coach in upcoming posts) asked me what my "I'm king of the world" moment in my career was. I knew it instantly and it made me smile. That moment was almost four years ago - and nothing since has come close. So the more I thought about it, the more sad I became - but it's also one of the reasons I am where I am (and happy about it). My boss and I landed a huge account - we worked so hard on this pitch and thought we were underdogs going into it. We did have a few others help us, but it was pretty much her and I.

We landed it! The account should have been a signature account for the agency. About six months into the relationship, all we heard from the executive committee was "You're not making a profit - we're losing money".  They slowing started to chip away at my spirit. We worked our butt off and did some great work (I'm proud of that and they will never take that away from me). Bottom line, we lost the account after two years. We had to raise our fees and the nonprofit said "we're sorry to hear that, we need to cut back".

The corporate world - I understand turning a profit, but they lost sight of the big picture. It would have attracted more business and larger accounts than what they were used to handling.

This "event" was a big one on my journey to enlightenment.

Why this was the "I'm king of the world" moment for me:
* Our hard work paid off - we nailed it!
* We were strategic
* We were creative
* We had great teamwork and collaborated
* I presented well (not one of my favorite things to do)
* We liked our clients and they have a good mission

These are things that I enjoy and why I do what I do.

What's your "I'm king of the world" moment?

My Oprah Moment

Oprah celebrated 25 years of hosting her own show earlier this year - and she celebrated by ending her show and moving on to a new challenge. It just so happens that I too celebrated 25 years in the corporate environment. I devoted my career helping nonprofits in their fundraising efforts and to help them further their mission.

Prior to May, I never watched an Oprah episode. But I was lucky enough to watch her final 10 shows. In her last show she talked about "Her calling" and that everyone has a "calling". Maybe you haven't discovered it yet or perhaps you're not hearing God's message to you. I wish I wrote down Oprah's words, but she said something like - if you don't listen, he'll start knocking you over the head. Well, he knocked me upside, downside and on top of my head!

I'm ready for my new challenge - to recognize my calling. How about you? If you know your's, please share it. If you don't, are you listening?

The Jump Start

My boss was preparing a presentation for a conference. She selected TOMS shoes as a case study. She made the presentation to my team first and it got me interested in the founder, Blake Mycoskie. I was so lucky to hear his story in person - he was key note speaker at the conference. He has a remarkable story if you haven't heard it. His story really inspired me and really made me think hard about what I was doing in my career. He spoke about the feeling he gets when he puts shoes on a child for the first time - their world and his world changes at that same moment. I've never had that feeling of changing a person's life and it made me want that experience.

Quote

"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened." - Lao Tzu

Tonight

Tonight I made the decision to start a blog. It came to me yesterday - just randomly (maybe). I'm starting this blog to share my journey of enlightenment. I wish I started this months ago - well maybe not - because it's just now dawning on me how important this time of my life is.

Upon a quick reflection, my enlightenment probably started years ago - I just wasn't in tune with how my life was progressing. The jump start moment happened back in March or around that time. I didn't mark it on my calendar because I don't do stuff like that. I don't think a date stamp is important. Things happen - and they happen for a reason. We might not realize it at the time, but they do. And even if it's something bad it probably isn't in the long run. There is a plan, we just don't know what it is. I am a firm believer in God. He has a plan.