Good manners can help you live longer.

One of my favorite things to do, is to go out to dinner. I enjoy sitting in a booth next to my husband, reading the menus and thinking how delicious my meal will be, someone waiting on our every need, and best of all - taking our dirty plates away. My husband would say, dessert is his best part of eating out.

My husband and I have always been thankful for good servers, saying "thank you" for everything they give us - a refill on our waters, a pour from our wine bottle, more olive oil, etc. We like good service and really appreciate and enjoy exceptional service. We are generous tippers and never tip less than 15% (even when the service is terrible). We have friends that are servers and know they depend on tips to pay bills and make ends meet. Their job is not an easy one. They have to pretend to be happy even when they are in a bad mood and nice when they have the rudest customers (and we have definitely seen some very rude and stingy customers).

I'm sure servers like getting good tips and even happier when they receive cash. But I would bet they would enjoy their jobs more if people said "thank you" more often and genuinely appreciate their time and effort. Many studies have shown that being appreciated is a better motivator than money - not sure they surveyed servers, but I'm sure it would make it easier to go to work if they knew more people would say "thank you" and really appreciate the work they do.

According to Goldie and her researchers, saying "thank you", expressing gratitude, actually makes YOU "happier, kinder, more generous to others, better able to cope with stress, and less lonely"! And it doesn't cost anything and only takes a second or two to express. Goldie also writes, "In all, thankfulness adds an average of seven years to our lives." I find that amazing.

Next time you are at a restaurant - take out or sit down - remember to say "Thank You" and you may just live another seven years longer!

How else do you show your appreciation to your servers and restaurant staff?

A Salute to our Veterans.

I can't help not being a little self serving in this post - so full disclosure... As some of you may know, I served in the US Navy for almost five years (1980-1985). It was one of the best experiences I've ever had. We were not at war. Times were different. 

I entered the military at the end of summer following my high school graduation. I made my decision when I was in 10th grade. I don't know what prompted my decision, but I was unwavering once I did -- and it was an almost instantaneous decision. It wasn't something I pondered for long. I just knew that's what I needed to do. 

The military helped me to mature. I am very proud of my service to this country, but I am very uncomfortable in being recognized for this service. Perhaps it makes me unique (not many women serve), but certainly not special. 

I salute the men and women who make this decision and commitment -- especially during times of war and conflict. The service people killed defending our country and the values Americans hold dearly have made us the country we are today. Many sacrifices of human life have been made. Families have endured incredible heartache because of this service.

Service in the military is definitely a calling. It is not meant for everyone. So I salute the men and women who have served and will serve and to those families and friends that support this commitment and calling. Thank you!

Photo: 10 February 81. Graduation from USAF Technical Training School, Chanute AFB Illinois. AGAR Sanden 

Feeling sorry for myself.

Over the past week or so, I've been feeling a little down. I didn't get a job that I wanted. It wasn't THE job I wanted, but it was a job that had a lot of pluses. Very little commute, a place where I already had two friends, lots of new and fun opportunities, and a job that I knew I could do. But it lacked the one thing I really wanted in a job -- a place where I could get a tingling sensation of knowing I made an impact on someone's life. Sure, I spinned the job in a way that I could make an impact, but wasn't what I'm really looking for.

Maybe that job doesn't exist - or at least not where I'm looking. What I'm really looking for in a job is to be able to experience moments where someone touched my heart because of what I helped make happen. They don't even have to remember me or know it was me, but I want to see happiness as an outcome.

Several months ago, I was so confident that God told me my new calling or my purpose in life. It wasn't a drastic change from what I was already doing as a consultant, but it was a change. I've focused my job search trying to find that calling. Now, months later I still don't have a job. Maybe I didn't hear God at all, I just thought I did.

I pray an awful lot these days trying to find answers and to hear God speak to me again. I know sometimes He is inattentive, uncooperative and/or late. http://northpoint.org/messages/when-god, but I'm still not feeling the love. I know I'm being irrational. I know God has a plan. I know if it was meant to be it will happen - but please God, give me direction.

What's a girl to do?