Catching up on life

My Second Summer

It’s been way too long since I’ve posted anything to this blog and so much has happened. I think about you, blog, all the time. I’ve missed posting. After all, this is my therapy and its free!

Let’s see...

• I have a job. And I really enjoy it.
• I have a new puppy. And I love him to pieces.
• I still miss my Ellie girl.
• It’s summer again.
• I’ve turned 50!
• Had so much fun in NYC with my BFF.
• My dad has dementia and now living in a nursing home.
• Dealing, helping, coping with elderly parents.
• Tried to grow summer squash and tomatoes – no success.
• Won two accounts!
• Have continued with my small group – joy!
• Started to clean out my parent’s house (with lots of help).
• Upset my mother.
• Surprised by the fact that my mother may be sentimental (and will never admit it nor admit she misses her husband of 55 years and is lonely).
• Planned a trip to Italy and will soon be on vacation - can't wait, I love Italy.
• Saw my dad with facial hair – beard and mustache – and he looks good!
• I continue to miss people who have been part of my life and don’t see as often as I would like.
• I am challenged and motivated by Andy Stanley’s messages.

I could go on and on, but these are the highlights. 

What’s going on with you? What have you been up to for the past few months? Life sure has a way of making itself interesting!

Write me/Post something!

You don't know what you don't know!

"To know what you know and to know what you don't know, that is real wisdom." - Confucius
I'm trying to know what I don't know - then maybe I will have real wisdom. That is what I seek. 

Let's get focused!

One of my friends shared her goal categories (a.k.a. New Year's Resolutions) with me. I thought they were really good categories so I'm sharing them with you. I also included what my goals are for this year so they might inspire you. Or, maybe you've already done these and can help me achieve them.

I'm tackling two categories for each post. Too much to think about and read in one post.

• Family: 
• Mom & Dad: This is the year, I hope, that we move (or at least convince) my mom to move to Pittsburgh and to sell their house. Once she's convinced she'll tell my dad they're moving. My dad turns 85 at the end of January and mom will turn 89 in June. My mom is legally blind and my dad's hearing, reaction time, walking and depth perception is way off and getting worse -- and he drives. The combination of their age and health concerns, this is a disaster waiting to happen. Mom and dad are both stubborn. This is a difficult sales job for us. Please pray that my sister and I have the wisdom to say what is needed and my mom and dad's minds soften and their ears hear what needs to be said. More phone calls with my sister.
• Sister, brother-in-law, & nieces: To spend more time with them this year. Add at least one more visit/vacation to the year. Most years we see each other in the summer at Hilton Head, SC and in Pittsburgh, PA for Christmas/New Year's. Hopefully we will get together at Easter, a college graduation or another time. It's getting more unlikely we will all be together again because of college, school and work schedules but I'm hopeful we can see at least one of the nieces this year. 
• Husband & sons: Schedule a family vacation this year. Visit Josh in Charleston. Have at least one husband/wife get-away this year (not included in any of the above). Las Vegas would be great, West Coast too, but Italy would be even better (I already did our itinerary and hoping this will be one of my 50th birthday trips).
• Grandparent outlaws: Fly Zack to visit with his grandparents in Texas this year. 

• Professional: Get hired! Find a good job that I really enjoy doing with great people. One that will allow me to afford the lifestyle I desire. And, will give me time to volunteer and have a good personal/professional life balance. Ideally one that is fulfilling and meaningful, but if I can continue to volunteer, I think I'm okay with just being fulfilled and enjoying what I'm doing.

Upcoming categories for us to think about:
Financial, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Mental, Emotional.

Let me know if you have any New Year's resolutions. Do you keep them? How long do they last? What are your tricks to keeping them?

My personal vision statement.

I've been thinking about this for several months now and think I've finally crafted my vision statement. To start the year of right -- and the rest of my life!

My vision statement:
I will be as busy as I can, but will have a balance between my personal, professional and spiritual time.

For my professional time: My best work is being a part of a team - collaborating with other team members. I enjoy working with creative smart people. I enjoy being part of successful outcomes and making a positive impact on meeting an organization's goals. I will associate myself with people who ask "why" and "why not" so I am being challenged and can learn.

I will find my personal enjoyment by reading and learning, home improvement projects, taking trips, eating and drinking good food and wine, and having a canine companion. I will travel internationally, as well as domestically, and will see the world.

I will find opportunities to use my natural talents and gifts such as leadership, courage, and self-assurance. I will live my faith as best as I can and will always strive to gain wisdom from the Bible. My achievements will be found only through God's grace and asking him for guidance.

I will be a person with a small circle of friends and family. I will make enough money to be debt free (except for a mortgage), be generous with gifts to nonprofits and my family, and save for retirement.

My most important future contribution is to help my son reach his potential with the incredible talent he has. My most important future contribution to others is to be an exceptional leader and helping other's be their best.

My life's journey is to help others achieve their goals and to have a strong relationship with God.

What's in a Name?

I'm in the process of reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People. So far its mostly common sense, but I'm only in Part 2 Chapter 3. So far I've learned:

Part 1 - Fundamental Techniques to Handling People

• Principle 1: Don't criticize, condem or complain. Here's my editorial take on this: If you have something negative to say, don't say it. Figure out a way to turn this into an opportunity for positive reinforcement -- focus on the positive. Bit your tongue. If you have to write it down (the bad stuff) and then shred it, erase it or burn it. Nothing good comes out of criticizing someone. 
• Principle 2: Give honest, sincere appreciation. See my Thank You Part 2 post. 
• Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want. This one is a little more challenging (at least for me it is), you have to think about this before acting on it. If you want someone to do something, you need to make them want to do it. Highlight their strengths on why the task is meant for them. The key here is really seeing things from the other person's point of view (not yours). This is probably best demonstrated in a cover letter to a potential employer - how can you solve their problem so they will hire you? According to Dale, "Each party should gain from the negotiation." 

Part 2 - Six Ways to Make People Like You

• Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people. I worked on this over the holidays - I asked a lot of questions and let my conversations revolve around others and not myself. I'm going to continue to do this and see if it works - so far, the conversations have not turned back on me. It's true, most everyone does like talking about themselves!
• Principle 2: Smile. I'm really working on this too. I remind myself as often as I can. I now consciously think about smiling when I'm walking around in a store and try to smile at people in the isles (hope they don't think I'm crazy) and I usually get a smile back. 
• Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. I'm reading this chapter now and thought I'd get your take on this too. I personally don't like my name and I don't really think I think more of others if they use it. I do try to remember and pronounce a person's name I just met because I do think that's important - but is it really that sweet to hear your name? 

What are your thoughts on Principle 3? When I finish the chapter I might have more insight, but right now the jury is out. Dale is a lot smarter than me on this subject so I'm keeping an open mind. Do you like your name? Do you like others more if they use your name?

Hope you're having fun!

"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." - Dale Carnegie

"Thank You" - Part 2

A few weeks ago I posted about how saying "thank you" can make you live longer. Saying "thank you" actually makes YOU feel better as well as the person you say "thank you" to. At the time, I didn't realize how life changing it really can be.

Andy Stanley has a powerful message about this that I hope you'll watch. But most of all, I hope you'll take his advice. http://www.northpoint.org/messages/i-owe-who

I can't stop thinking about this simple (or at least it should be simple) task. I know life's not simple and sometimes stopping to say "thank you" to someone important in your life isn't that easy. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride.

Dale Carnegie is a strong believer in this too. In his "How to Win Friends & Influence People", Carnegie cites many prominent business leaders such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller as using this as their secret to success. They sincerely appreciated and encouraged the people they worked with and knew.

One passage in his book really struck a cord with me, "We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem?" It seems there should be some daily requirement for feeding self-esteem just like there is for eating fruits and veggies.

So during these holidays and as a New Year's resolution, remember to say "Thank You" as often as you can and be sincere. Those two simple words are words of encouragement and feeds self-esteem. I believe for both you and for the person you are thanking.

Here are just a few of my thank you's to publicly recognize the people that have helped me on my journey:

• First of course, God. He laid out a great life path for me that I didn't recognize until now. 
• To my husband, Jimmy - thank you for supporting me all these years. What stands out most is taking on so much while I was going to college to get my degree. Zack was still young and Jimmy did a lot of "dad" things for me. And now today, while I look for a job that I will truly enjoy and where I can make an impact. (He's being very patient). 
• To my friend and most recent boss, Debbi - she is someone I aspire to be more like. She is the most righteous person I have ever met. Thank you for being the best mentor anyone could hope to have. I am so blessed to have our paths cross. 
• To my friend Mari Lynne - thank you for being my friend (since second grade) even when I didn't deserve to have you. I know I wasn't there for you (for many times) when I should have been. You've accepted me as I am. 
• To Ron. This may be the hardest thank you, because he is such an arrogant a**h*** (this is nothing he doesn't know already). He hired me years ago and provided me with a solid foundation of professional knowledge and paid me a lot of money doing it. 
• To my Mom. Thank you. I turned out pretty good. 

Who should you thank? Probably someone you take for granted.