Do not worry. (Part 1)

A couple of things have happened recently that brings me to this post.

Wednesday night our small group met. I think I told you that this is my first attempt at being part of a small group (women of faith who meet once a week). We're still getting to know each other and more and more I feel like this is the right step for me in my journey. We spent a few minutes talking about worry. This is something all of us struggle with at some point in our lives and sometimes on a daily basis.

My son recently moved back in with us (he's 25) and almost immediately I felt a tinge of worry creep into my thoughts. If you're a parent, worry is a constant battle -- especially if you have a teenager that drives.

My son "gave" me one of the worst experiences in my life about six to seven years ago. I won't go into all the details but he decided to drink (underage) while spending the day at our neighborhood pool. He proceeded to drive home through the neighborhood and ended up with his truck upside down in our neighborhood lake -- yes, I said LAKE! I should note, while this was occurring I was trying to reach him on his cell phone. I knew something was wrong and I was praying throughout my 30 minute drive home that everything would be alright. One of my worst fears had come true, but God was watching out for us. A man happened to be driving behind my son, saw the accident, jumped into the water and pulled my son to safety. I am so thankful that God was watching out for him and I carry this with me everyday.

So needless to say, when my son moved back in and I would be aware of his comings and goings -- which I was not looking forward to -- I prayed immediately. I pray every day and night that God keeps my son safe and to watch over him every second of his life.

I decided about ten years ago, that I would not waste my time on worry. God does not want you to worry. And worry will eat you alive. You can not change anything by worrying about it. If there is something that you can do, do it - and stop worrying about it. What's done is done and what will be will be.

Whenever I feel worry creeping in -- which it does -- I start to pray and God takes it away.

There are a few passages in the Bible that brings me comfort around this subject:

• Matthew 6:33-35: "But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (This is from my Living Insights Bible, which I love and highly recommend).  
• 1 Peter 5:7: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." (NLT) 
• Psalm 37:3-4: "Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Living Insights).

Let me know how you deal with worry and also if you have any favorite Bible verses that give you comfort. 

Non-stop learning.

Every day I devote about one to two hours of reading and learning for professional growth. I'm trying to keep fresh and current on new developments and what the experts are saying. Since I'm not in an office environment working with a team, I have to be more vigilant on my skills. They definitely dull without use.

I could probably spend all day every day reading about new developments, but if you can't apply them you don't really learn them. I take notes and hope to revisit them when I can use them - at least that's how I've learned most of my digital and social media knowledge over the years. It's really overwhelming if you don't take this in small doses. I've been following @ericpratum on twitter - and he is nonstop with the links for social and digital media. His links lead to more links, great blogs, etc. If I had a full time job, I could never keep up.

So how do you keep fresh in your profession? I think it's almost a full time job to stay current these days - at least in my profession and I would guess in others as well.

The Incredible Mind.

In the June 6, 2011 issue of Time Magazine, the cover story was "The Science of Optimism". It's pretty interesting and I can tell you its certainly true for me. 

About two weeks ago I wrote about not being happy to apply for jobs I didn't want - forced to in order to receive unemployment benefits. I'm still not "happy" about it because I don't believe that is where my calling is -- but God is directing my life not me. I'm going with the flow and trying to make the most of it. 

In the meantime, I've been searching through hundreds of jobs. I've found a few that sound interesting -- some downright fun sounding. So my mind has already adjusted to "liking" what I didn't like before (I have no other option). I'm no longer dreading applying for commercial positions. 

Has this happened to you? 

Tell me about your life situation when your mind had to change and adjust to something you didn't want in the first place, but now have accepted and happy about it. The mind is an incredible organ and designed for survival. 

Getting busy.

I hate housework. I hate dusting, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, everything! But sometimes that dust does get pretty noticeable and someone has to do it. I guess I'm lucky that my husband is the same way - no OCD in my household. But, I do think this is one of my faults. A maid would definitely help, but we let them go a year ago and I haven't looked for a replacement - and probably won't.

I have found that it does make you feel better. That sense of accomplishment, that physical activity, and of course a clean house for a while.

I think I need an endorphin rush - nothing beats physical activity to make you feel good (except maybe sunshine). My problem is getting motivated and I can come up with some good reasons not to clean. I've made my list of cleaning tasks - at least I'm organized!

Now to get started...

What's on your list of things you dislike doing or procrastinate about? What gives you a rush?

Know yourself.

"Make it your business to know yourself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." - Miguel De Cervantes

Why a personal vision statement?

Months ago I discovered I had "lost my way" - I had spent so much time, energy, and focus on my job - that I neglected me. I made the mistake of pouring myself into my job and it defined me.

The job spiraled out of control. Lots of things contributed to this -- no solid infrastructure in place to handle new national accounts, lack of sufficient resource with skills to onboard accounts, new channels to integrate and learn, focus on growth and winning, and not enough band width to handle everything.

I did have a very supportive boss and mentor and I did have some talented team members -- but it wasn't enough. In the end, I was miserable and working way too much.

All that taught me was, I needed help. I needed time to rediscover me and put new focus to my life.

I started self reflection (which is ongoing). I came upon an article by Susan M. Healthfield, http://humanresources.about.com/od/success/a/personal_vision.htm. In this article she writes, "Your personal vision statement guides your life. ... provides direction necessary to guide the course of your days and the choices you make about your career. ... is the light shining in the darkness toward which you turn to find your way." Well, if anything -- I needed a personal vision statement.

Further down in the article, according to Brian Tracy, you generally accomplish your written goals, dreams, plans, and vision. Writing them down lends power and commitment.

I'm ready to accomplish mine -- as soon as I publish it. Stayed tuned!

Prep work for my vision statement.

I've been working/trying to formulate my personal vision statement for weeks. Here are a few items I needed to take inventory of and set goals:

Physical: to be healthy and active
Spiritual: to be closer to God and his direction
Work/Career: have a position of some prominence, a leader, member of a team, make a positive impact, be creative, have flexibility, and everyday enjoy what I do
Family: to be closer, do more together
Social relationships: have more friends
Financial security: make more money than I need, be debt free (except for a mortgage), be able to give generously and save for a retirement of leisure and no worries, have money to take several trips a year if I want to
Mental improvement and attention: continue to learn (professionally and personally), keep a sharp mind, have a good memory
Fun and travel: travel as much as I can, see the world, eat and drink good food and wine, enjoy the incredible beauty that's out there, read, listen to music and attend concerts, go to movies, and to always remember to enjoy the moment

What's on your list? Please share.

Wisdom by Dr. Seuss

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

A good leader doesn't receive the credit.

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." - Harry S Truman

Walk this way?

Everyone has their own walk.

Last night our small group met again. This is our third week together and we're just getting to know each other. Each week two or three women get to share their story. They are very different stories and very different storytelling approaches. We've only heard from five women, but each woman's walk with God is very different. I'm not surprised, but it makes me think how different we are but still searching for the same thing.

One thing I think we are searching for is acceptance. We're all unique and we should accept each other for who we are -- but that's easier said than done.

My own journey is two fold. First, I want to live my faith better. Second, I want to just be a better person in general. I know they're probably the same (but I haven't studied the Bible enough). When I say a better person - that's physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. If I'm obnoxious, I want to know it (but I doubt that I am). If I drone on about something, I want someone to shut me up. My feelings might get hurt, but I'll get over it and how can I improve if someone doesn't point these out to me.

It's hard to "correct" someone on their "faults" - after all, who are we to say "something's wrong with you"? But, I think we do want to know.

So, how do you say something? Please share how you would approach this - I need help in this area. I swear I won't start pointing out everyone's faults (it usually takes something significant to catch my attention), it's just the one fault that everyone has a problem with.

What else do you think people are search for?

God answered my prayer yesterday.

Monday was a little rough. I was starting to get down about finding a job. I'm drawing unemployment and I have to submit three applications every week in order to get paid. Normally I wouldn't have an issue with this -- after all, I do want a job, unemployment is about 10% of what I was getting paid, and government shouldn't have to continue to support me (but thank goodness it is there as support).

So I'm feeling down because I now have to apply for positions I don't want with companies I don't want to work for. I now have to expand my search to for-profit companies. Sure some of them sound interesting, but this is not what God told me he wanted me to do AND not what I want to do.

I decided to take Tuesday "off". I slept in until 9am, checked my usual online sites, and then ran errands for the next two hours. I was in the middle of running my errands and wasn't feeling better about my situation. I prayed to God to please lift my heart and give me something to feel good about. Fifteen minutes later, I received a phone call asking me if I was available for a phone interview for a position I had applied to a month ago. Thank you God! My prayer was answered.

We will never forget.

Ten years ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001, I happened to be the first one in our office (a rare time of silence). About five minutes before 9am, a coworker arrived and said "did you hear what happened - a plane flew into one of the World Trade Center towers". I had not heard the news and we immediately ran to turn on the TV to see what was going on. Oh my God! Not just an expression, my thoughts immediately turned to God.

My pastor's message on Sunday reminded us that we were a nation of prayer and one founded on Christian principles. After all, our country's motto is "In God we Trust."

More prayers were probably made that morning than any other day. But what has happened over the past ten years? We need to change this. Our leaders need to bring faith into every day tasks and let the rest of us see it. I've been a leader for most of my adult life, although I never really realized it or thought about it until recent years. It seemed to happen naturally and not something I desired, worked at or ever hoped to achieve. But like it or not, the positions that I've held have been ones of leadership.

I've embraced that more this past summer than ever before. I've read several books on leadership this summer and it's helped me identify my strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement. One area that I am and will focus on most will be using Jesus as my model for the ideal leader. I now desire another position of leadership. I enjoy it and think I'm pretty good at it -- now just to get better. And being a better leader is always thinking of others and never yourself.

My pastor used King Solomon as an incredible example of a great leader on Sunday. Forth in the series, here's the link to listen to Sunday's message: http://www.northpoint.org/messages/recovery-road. Wouldn't it be incredible if President Obama or any of the GOP candidates and all of Congress could get down on their knees and ask God for help? Our nation might recover. Humility. I know that's easier said than done as a leader. We don't want to look weak in the eyes of others, but listening to Andy Stanley, it's not a sign of weakness but a sign that we have a greater leader and answer to a higher being that is all powerful and wants this nation to be great again.

What do you think makes a good leader? What traits do you find the best leaders have? What are some of your examples of great leaders?

Inspiring Quote

"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one's own self." - Montaigne

My small group fun!

Last night about 13-14 of our small group women met to socialize, have fun, and paint. I enjoyed all three!

It was just the second time we've met and not everyone could be there, but I'm looking forward to making new friends and growing spiritually. I've never been part of a small group - unless you consider a clique of girls in high school! That was fun back then, but I'm not looking to re-live those days.

It was a nice ice breaker and I think everyone felt pretty comfortable expressing themselves in their creativity. Lara and her husband own the shop and it was so nice of them to welcome us in.

Over the next six weeks, we will get to know each other more, discuss a faith based book, and support each other the best we can through conversation, being together, and praying for each other.

I can't wait!

Tell me about your small group or how your circle of friends, family or co-workers support each other.

How do you pick yourself up?

Lately, I've been finding it harder and harder to get motivated - to do anything. I've been very fortunate in my life that depression has never found me (but it might be lurking around the corner now). It's a growing problem in the US. I'm sure in part to the economy, unemployment, Washington not able to agree on anything, more disasters, etc, etc.

Because of my status of unemployed, I don't really have a schedule anymore -- and I find it a bit disturbing. Will I end up being one of those many millions of Americans still unemployed after a year? Gosh, I sure hope not. I'm a smart person, experienced, quick learner, talented problem solver, but why no phone calls? I can't honestly say that I have been beating the pavement. I've actually been kinda slack at looking for a job. I've spend hours on my resume, even more on my cover letters, and still when I look at how many jobs I've applied to - I'm surprised. I submitted many to my "chosen" employer, but they haven't reached out yet. It's a different world out there than it used to be. I'm not used to working hard at finding a job. I've had four jobs in my life and four interviews. I did have one interview back in June - I was actually shocked that I got one. Obviously I wasn't right for the job - it was a stretch position, but I was still hopeful. After all, each interview I've had so far always landed me a job.

Anyway, back to my original point. What do you do when you really have nothing to do to motivate you to get moving? I am motivated to get the right job (the one I choose), but the "right" job doesn't come along that often. I am trying to focus on my relationship to God, because I believe he will help me in this search. But I get scared sometimes - how long can I wait? Will God really help me (is he speaking to my ideal employer on my behalf)? I believe, but life can get you down sometimes and definitely cause you to doubt everything.

I'm trying to keep busy every day, but find myself making excuses not to leave the house. I hate to clean, so that's not really an option to keep me busy. Although I still have junk in the basement to toss out -- that usually perks me up.

I'm actually thinking about volunteering, so I have to be responsible for something. Just being a wife and looking for a job isn't all that fulfilling.

So, what do you recommend? Last night I made a list to keep me on track - but it's still just a list - I have to do something with it. Need help with motivation, inspiration, guidance to give each day a purpose to get busy.

Something to aspire to.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius