I can't believe I still struggle with falling asleep Sunday nights. I can't seem to shut my mind off. There is no other night of the week that causes me so much grief.
I no longer have thoughts about work and all the projects and deadlines that need to be met on Monday and the entire week - thank goodness. But now I have other thoughts that race through my mind. I keep myself awake rethinking through things.
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life and every day I have a new challenge to think about and overcome. The book is definitely thought provoking. My most recent tribulation is remembering my childhood. Why you ask? Because life is about having relationships. I'm trying to recall if something happened with my sister. My sister is 3 1/2 years older than me - four school years. Some of my first memories are kindergarten. I can remember having my shadow profile being done, taking naps, and my kindergarten class room. I can even remember two of the girls in my class (I think). But I can't remember going to school with my sister. I have memories of first grade and second grade as well -- the only grades where my sister would be in the same school as me.
We took summer vacations every year as a family. I remember her being there, but I can't remember playing with her - ever. I remember summers in our neighborhood. We had so many kids on our block that there was always someone to play with. I'm pretty sure we both played cowboys and indians, kick the can, and Frisbee dodge - but I can't ever remember being close to my sister. I know nothing bad happened, or at least I'm pretty sure I'd remember having a fight with her.
Even as adults we aren't that close. I wish we were. I love my sister, but we don't share secrets or life's challenges or celebrations except for the one or two times a year we're together. We talk on the phone, but not often.
So, I have two challenges: 1. How do you get close with someone? 2. How do you shut off your Sunday mind?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Just three essential things
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Joseph Addison
My something to do:
My something to love:
My something to hope for:
What are your three essentials?
My something to do:
- a job
- taking care of my house and property
- taking care of my friends and family
- helping as many people as I can reach their goals.
My something to love:
- God
- My husband
- My sons
- My dog
- My family
- My friends
- Nature.
My something to hope for:
- A job that I enjoy doing
- Being able to travel
- A healthy comfortable life.
What are your three essentials?
Holding my tongue.
I have a problem. I've been working on this problem for a while, but don't think I've come anywhere close to improving on it. I have a problem holding my tongue. I am sometimes blunt. And sometimes rude. I really do not intend to be rude -- it's not like I plan it or want to hurt someone's feelings. I just say things that I probably shouldn't or should be worded in a more subtle or kinder way.
I've been reading Proverbs every day for the past few months, in hopes of gaining wisdom and restraint. Here's a few verses that I have highlighted, underlined and/or asterisked.
Any other ideas on how to change this habit/impulse? I'll take all the advice I can get.
I've been reading Proverbs every day for the past few months, in hopes of gaining wisdom and restraint. Here's a few verses that I have highlighted, underlined and/or asterisked.
- Proverbs 10:19b: "...he who holds his tongue is wise."
- Proverbs 17:28: "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."
One piece of advice comes from one of the books I'm reading and that is to constantly think of God. If I can keep saying these verses in my head or keep saying to myself "say nothing, keeping your mouth shut", I should do better and sometimes I do. I'm trying to form a new habit and shutting down the old one - it's just taking longer than I hoped.
That's why I rely on my friends to keep me in check. Call me on me being rude. Proverbs 19:20: "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." That is what I am counting on.
Any other ideas on how to change this habit/impulse? I'll take all the advice I can get.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Re-creating Happiness!
I know some of us are more happy than others and unfortunately I do know a few very unhappy people. It's hard to change an unhappy person into a happy one, but I think you can work on it and make yourself happier (if you want to).
I know sometimes life can get you down and sometimes you dwell on unhappy thoughts - but you need to stop that. Being unhappy can make you sick and not much fun to be around. And who really enjoys being unhappy -- don't we want to be happy? Don't we want to laugh and enjoy life?
I discovered that I naturally practice one of the ways of re-creating happiness. I was reading chapter 10 in 10 Mindful Minutes, and Goldie suggests "memory building". According to Goldie, "each time we look at them [photos], we experience the happiness we first knew."
One of the first things I did when I bought my MAC was to upload as many vacation photos as I could. My screen saver rotates through my photos when I'm inactive. I love reliving the happiness as each photo pops up. It also strengthens my memory since I have to recall when, where, what and who in the one second the photo was taken and to do this quickly before the next photo pops up. My vacations are if they took place just minutes ago.
I love to travel and I find I am happiest when I'm off enjoying life without a thought of work in my mind and only a schedule guideline to dictate my day. By capturing my happiness in a photo, I ensure that I will remember it forever and can re-create it whenever I want to.
I haven't skied for years (not since I discovered Europe as my go-to place), but one of my happiest vacations took place at The Canyons, UT. It was a family trip plus one (Josh brought a friend) and our boys were grown. One reason this vacation was a happy one, was I saw my sons happy. They really enjoyed snowboarding and I was pretty impressed at how good they were. On one run I remember Zack passing me at the speed of light!
(The photo was taken at the base of one of the mountains at the end of the day. Zack, me, Jimmy, Josh, and Matt (Josh's friend).
Let me know how you re-create happiness. I'll have several more posts on this topic in the coming days.
Be happy and pass it around!
I know sometimes life can get you down and sometimes you dwell on unhappy thoughts - but you need to stop that. Being unhappy can make you sick and not much fun to be around. And who really enjoys being unhappy -- don't we want to be happy? Don't we want to laugh and enjoy life?
I discovered that I naturally practice one of the ways of re-creating happiness. I was reading chapter 10 in 10 Mindful Minutes, and Goldie suggests "memory building". According to Goldie, "each time we look at them [photos], we experience the happiness we first knew."
One of the first things I did when I bought my MAC was to upload as many vacation photos as I could. My screen saver rotates through my photos when I'm inactive. I love reliving the happiness as each photo pops up. It also strengthens my memory since I have to recall when, where, what and who in the one second the photo was taken and to do this quickly before the next photo pops up. My vacations are if they took place just minutes ago.
I love to travel and I find I am happiest when I'm off enjoying life without a thought of work in my mind and only a schedule guideline to dictate my day. By capturing my happiness in a photo, I ensure that I will remember it forever and can re-create it whenever I want to.
I haven't skied for years (not since I discovered Europe as my go-to place), but one of my happiest vacations took place at The Canyons, UT. It was a family trip plus one (Josh brought a friend) and our boys were grown. One reason this vacation was a happy one, was I saw my sons happy. They really enjoyed snowboarding and I was pretty impressed at how good they were. On one run I remember Zack passing me at the speed of light!
(The photo was taken at the base of one of the mountains at the end of the day. Zack, me, Jimmy, Josh, and Matt (Josh's friend).
Let me know how you re-create happiness. I'll have several more posts on this topic in the coming days.
Be happy and pass it around!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Why haven't I done more?
UGH! I hate regrets and luckily I have very few. In fact, I probably couldn't even tell you what they were exactly, but I know I've said some things wrong in the past. Things I wish I never said, but once said can't be taken back. I'm working on not being so impulsive when I talk, but this is an impulse I've developed over the years and one that will take a long time to reverse or to create a new path in my brain.
Those really aren't the regrets I'm talking about in this post. In Andy's message (part 6) on September 25, 2011, www.northpoint.org/messages/recovery-road he spoke about Entitlement or feeling Entitled. I've been thinking about this message for a couple weeks and today in chapter 6 of The Purpose Driven Life the same message appeared. The Bible verse is Luke 12:48b: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked".
I have been blessed with so much. I am not rich, but I have more than I need. My regret is, I don't think I've done enough or given back enough. I hope it's not too late. I hope I still have the opportunity to be more generous.
I've always been generous with my "talents" or at least in my professional life. I've devoted 20 years to helping nonprofits meet their goals. But, that's not enough now. In fact, that is one of the reasons why I'm searching for a position at a nonprofit and not at an agency or as a consultant. I feel I can make a greater impact if I can focus on one mission instead of six or even two.
I hope that God's plan is for me to find a position where I can put my talents to better use.
I don't feel like I've been generous enough with my money. I don't give 10% away to nonprofits. I'm generous with family, but not with strangers and I think that is what that verse is talking about. I give, but not enough. I hope once I find a new job, I'll be able to change that.
Do you think you've "given" enough? Is there capacity for more? Any regrets?
Those really aren't the regrets I'm talking about in this post. In Andy's message (part 6) on September 25, 2011, www.northpoint.org/messages/recovery-road he spoke about Entitlement or feeling Entitled. I've been thinking about this message for a couple weeks and today in chapter 6 of The Purpose Driven Life the same message appeared. The Bible verse is Luke 12:48b: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked".
I have been blessed with so much. I am not rich, but I have more than I need. My regret is, I don't think I've done enough or given back enough. I hope it's not too late. I hope I still have the opportunity to be more generous.
I've always been generous with my "talents" or at least in my professional life. I've devoted 20 years to helping nonprofits meet their goals. But, that's not enough now. In fact, that is one of the reasons why I'm searching for a position at a nonprofit and not at an agency or as a consultant. I feel I can make a greater impact if I can focus on one mission instead of six or even two.
I hope that God's plan is for me to find a position where I can put my talents to better use.
I don't feel like I've been generous enough with my money. I don't give 10% away to nonprofits. I'm generous with family, but not with strangers and I think that is what that verse is talking about. I give, but not enough. I hope once I find a new job, I'll be able to change that.
Do you think you've "given" enough? Is there capacity for more? Any regrets?
Mindfulness
I'm about halfway through a new book by Goldie Hawn, 10 Mindful Minutes. I've used this practice for years going to sleep at night, but never thought about using it during my workday or during other stressful times in my life. It is very much like meditation but they suggest three times a day for three minutes at a time -- supposed to be more beneficial than just 10 minutes once a day.
In my last job, this practice would have been very useful. I am going to try to create a habit in my daily life - I'm adding this to my list (which keeps getting longer and longer). Not only will this help you be more thoughtful, but it can help you learn better, reduce stress, be happier, and control your emotions. Something I know I can use.
Goldie and her team of doctors and scientists highly recommend this for parents and their children to use -- especially effective for 7-12 year olds. They cite some incredible stats from their MindUp research. Our kids are definitely growing up in a world unlike the one I grew up in. I don't think I ever felt stressed out when I was growing up and for that I am so thankful.
For all you stressed out people: close your eyes, breath deeply for three minutes and try not to think of anything. Repeat two more times in your day. I hope this works!
What do you do to relieve your stress? Any other helpful hints for us stressed out people?
In my last job, this practice would have been very useful. I am going to try to create a habit in my daily life - I'm adding this to my list (which keeps getting longer and longer). Not only will this help you be more thoughtful, but it can help you learn better, reduce stress, be happier, and control your emotions. Something I know I can use.
Goldie and her team of doctors and scientists highly recommend this for parents and their children to use -- especially effective for 7-12 year olds. They cite some incredible stats from their MindUp research. Our kids are definitely growing up in a world unlike the one I grew up in. I don't think I ever felt stressed out when I was growing up and for that I am so thankful.
For all you stressed out people: close your eyes, breath deeply for three minutes and try not to think of anything. Repeat two more times in your day. I hope this works!
What do you do to relieve your stress? Any other helpful hints for us stressed out people?
Make it better!
"When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too." - Paulo Coelho
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I am not a morning person!
For the past several weeks (perhaps even more than a month), I've been thinking about attending the Northpoint Community Church C3G http://www.northpoint.org/jobhelp (a network for people looking for a job). But, it's at Monday morning at 7:45am!
For those of you who know me (well?) - I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I am at my most productive when the sun goes down. Yes, I still get a lot done during daylight and Yes, I can get up early and make a flight or meeting, but as a general rule: I don't like getting up early and having to show up somewhere. I don't know why, but like Lady Gaga says "I was born this way". I hate talking, I hate being personable, I hate my routine being disrupted, and I will be argumentative if talked to, etc., etc.
I still recall running to my elementary school every morning and just making it before the bell. Thank goodness the school was a block and a half away. My grandmother and great aunt must have hated the responsibility of getting me up in the morning.
Anyway, it's late Sunday night and before I doze off I pray. I tell God, "If you want me to go to C3G, please make sure I wake up in time.
Monday morning, 6:15am - I'm wide awake (no physical alarm, just God). Well, it looks like I'm driving to Northpoint. I should mention - it's a one hour drive. I'm not happy about it, but I know God has a plan.
I got home around 11am and not sure why I went. Nothing really happened. I did meet seven new interesting women, exchanged our stories, registered for the C3G digital network, and enjoyed a good cup of coffee. But why?
God has not revealed that yet, but I know he will in time.
I can say (and maybe this is why or part of why), one of the resources that was sent to us as members was an article that mentioned the book by Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life. I have a copy of that down in my basement. I haven't read it yet. It was given to me by my mother-in-law. (Side note: I have never met my real mother-in-law. My husband's mother died before we met. I affectionately call Bea my mother-in-law because I do love her very much. She happens to be my first husband's mom and Zack's grandmother. She is my out-law-mother but I care to much about her to refer to her like that.)
Today, I went to the basement and found my copy. Bea sent us this book eight years ago, October 27, 2003. God knew I'd need this book sometime, I just wasn't ready years ago.
Page 5: According to Rick Warren, "It is no accident that you are holding this book." WOW! I made the covenant tonight that I would devote the next 40 days to reading and studying this book.
So many threads are coming together on this journey.
When you look back on some events, do you see where God played a hand in what happened?
For those of you who know me (well?) - I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I am at my most productive when the sun goes down. Yes, I still get a lot done during daylight and Yes, I can get up early and make a flight or meeting, but as a general rule: I don't like getting up early and having to show up somewhere. I don't know why, but like Lady Gaga says "I was born this way". I hate talking, I hate being personable, I hate my routine being disrupted, and I will be argumentative if talked to, etc., etc.
I still recall running to my elementary school every morning and just making it before the bell. Thank goodness the school was a block and a half away. My grandmother and great aunt must have hated the responsibility of getting me up in the morning.
Anyway, it's late Sunday night and before I doze off I pray. I tell God, "If you want me to go to C3G, please make sure I wake up in time.
Monday morning, 6:15am - I'm wide awake (no physical alarm, just God). Well, it looks like I'm driving to Northpoint. I should mention - it's a one hour drive. I'm not happy about it, but I know God has a plan.
I got home around 11am and not sure why I went. Nothing really happened. I did meet seven new interesting women, exchanged our stories, registered for the C3G digital network, and enjoyed a good cup of coffee. But why?
God has not revealed that yet, but I know he will in time.
I can say (and maybe this is why or part of why), one of the resources that was sent to us as members was an article that mentioned the book by Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life. I have a copy of that down in my basement. I haven't read it yet. It was given to me by my mother-in-law. (Side note: I have never met my real mother-in-law. My husband's mother died before we met. I affectionately call Bea my mother-in-law because I do love her very much. She happens to be my first husband's mom and Zack's grandmother. She is my out-law-mother but I care to much about her to refer to her like that.)
Today, I went to the basement and found my copy. Bea sent us this book eight years ago, October 27, 2003. God knew I'd need this book sometime, I just wasn't ready years ago.
Page 5: According to Rick Warren, "It is no accident that you are holding this book." WOW! I made the covenant tonight that I would devote the next 40 days to reading and studying this book.
So many threads are coming together on this journey.
When you look back on some events, do you see where God played a hand in what happened?
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