Part 1 - Fundamental Techniques to Handling People
- Principle 1: Don't criticize, condem or complain. Here's my editorial take on this: If you have something negative to say, don't say it. Figure out a way to turn this into an opportunity for positive reinforcement -- focus on the positive. Bit your tongue. If you have to write it down (the bad stuff) and then shred it, erase it or burn it. Nothing good comes out of criticizing someone.
- Principle 2: Give honest, sincere appreciation. See my Thank You Part 2 post.
- Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want. This one is a little more challenging (at least for me it is), you have to think about this before acting on it. If you want someone to do something, you need to make them want to do it. Highlight their strengths on why the task is meant for them. The key here is really seeing things from the other person's point of view (not yours). This is probably best demonstrated in a cover letter to a potential employer - how can you solve their problem so they will hire you? According to Dale, "Each party should gain from the negotiation."
Part 2 - Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people. I worked on this over the holidays - I asked a lot of questions and let my conversations revolve around others and not myself. I'm going to continue to do this and see if it works - so far, the conversations have not turned back on me. It's true, most everyone does like talking about themselves!
- Principle 2: Smile. I'm really working on this too. I remind myself as often as I can. I now consciously think about smiling when I'm walking around in a store and try to smile at people in the isles (hope they don't think I'm crazy) and I usually get a smile back.
- Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. I'm reading this chapter now and thought I'd get your take on this too. I personally don't like my name and I don't really think I think more of others if they use it. I do try to remember and pronounce a person's name I just met because I do think that's important - but is it really that sweet to hear your name?
What are your thoughts on Principle 3? When I finish the chapter I might have more insight, but right now the jury is out. Dale is a lot smarter than me on this subject so I'm keeping an open mind. Do you like your name? Do you like others more if they use your name?
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