Over the past week or so, I've been feeling a little down. I didn't get a job that I wanted. It wasn't THE job I wanted, but it was a job that had a lot of pluses. Very little commute, a place where I already had two friends, lots of new and fun opportunities, and a job that I knew I could do. But it lacked the one thing I really wanted in a job -- a place where I could get a tingling sensation of knowing I made an impact on someone's life. Sure, I spinned the job in a way that I could make an impact, but wasn't what I'm really looking for.
Maybe that job doesn't exist - or at least not where I'm looking. What I'm really looking for in a job is to be able to experience moments where someone touched my heart because of what I helped make happen. They don't even have to remember me or know it was me, but I want to see happiness as an outcome.
Several months ago, I was so confident that God told me my new calling or my purpose in life. It wasn't a drastic change from what I was already doing as a consultant, but it was a change. I've focused my job search trying to find that calling. Now, months later I still don't have a job. Maybe I didn't hear God at all, I just thought I did.
I pray an awful lot these days trying to find answers and to hear God speak to me again. I know sometimes He is inattentive, uncooperative and/or late. http://northpoint.org/messages/when-god, but I'm still not feeling the love. I know I'm being irrational. I know God has a plan. I know if it was meant to be it will happen - but please God, give me direction.
What's a girl to do?
First, I am sorry you did not get the job. Second, I see that you love Christmas! I suggested going to a local ASAP shelter... and I urge you to do it again. With the colder weather coming on, the shelters need food, blankets... and dog walkers. What better way to direct yourself and have God walk with you?
ReplyDeleteYou made the change for you, not your God. To Ensure your choice was good, you spoke to Him. Look, I do not go to a religious institution... but my God walks down any path I go... He does not direct me. When I am low, he is sitting next to me, not lifting my shoulders. When I am ecstatic, He is laughing with or at me. If I was ever so deranged to walk out of my marriage - this is an example - he would walk with me, letting me shut the door.
Don't look for answers or questions; make statements about your life that you will adhere to. God provides the questions of life, you walk the answers in your actions. Are you volunteering at a nursing home? omg - they need a smile, a laugh, a stuffed animal. The animal shelter is desperate for help. Have you dropped off blankets? food? leashes?
You gave a gratitude list. Do it again with specifics. The more specific you are, the light shines on your day. Each day tell your husband one new thing you appreciate him for - wow that is an awkward sentence - then pay if forward to a person in a grocer. Kindness brings the light into us, and then we shine in all our walks in life.