Hope you're having fun!

"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." - Dale Carnegie

"Thank You" - Part 2

A few weeks ago I posted about how saying "thank you" can make you live longer. Saying "thank you" actually makes YOU feel better as well as the person you say "thank you" to. At the time, I didn't realize how life changing it really can be.

Andy Stanley has a powerful message about this that I hope you'll watch. But most of all, I hope you'll take his advice. http://www.northpoint.org/messages/i-owe-who

I can't stop thinking about this simple (or at least it should be simple) task. I know life's not simple and sometimes stopping to say "thank you" to someone important in your life isn't that easy. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride.

Dale Carnegie is a strong believer in this too. In his "How to Win Friends & Influence People", Carnegie cites many prominent business leaders such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller as using this as their secret to success. They sincerely appreciated and encouraged the people they worked with and knew.

One passage in his book really struck a cord with me, "We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem?" It seems there should be some daily requirement for feeding self-esteem just like there is for eating fruits and veggies.

So during these holidays and as a New Year's resolution, remember to say "Thank You" as often as you can and be sincere. Those two simple words are words of encouragement and feeds self-esteem. I believe for both you and for the person you are thanking.

Here are just a few of my thank you's to publicly recognize the people that have helped me on my journey:

• First of course, God. He laid out a great life path for me that I didn't recognize until now. 
• To my husband, Jimmy - thank you for supporting me all these years. What stands out most is taking on so much while I was going to college to get my degree. Zack was still young and Jimmy did a lot of "dad" things for me. And now today, while I look for a job that I will truly enjoy and where I can make an impact. (He's being very patient). 
• To my friend and most recent boss, Debbi - she is someone I aspire to be more like. She is the most righteous person I have ever met. Thank you for being the best mentor anyone could hope to have. I am so blessed to have our paths cross. 
• To my friend Mari Lynne - thank you for being my friend (since second grade) even when I didn't deserve to have you. I know I wasn't there for you (for many times) when I should have been. You've accepted me as I am. 
• To Ron. This may be the hardest thank you, because he is such an arrogant a**h*** (this is nothing he doesn't know already). He hired me years ago and provided me with a solid foundation of professional knowledge and paid me a lot of money doing it. 
• To my Mom. Thank you. I turned out pretty good. 

Who should you thank? Probably someone you take for granted.

Live your life as you imagined it to be.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

Good manners can help you live longer.

One of my favorite things to do, is to go out to dinner. I enjoy sitting in a booth next to my husband, reading the menus and thinking how delicious my meal will be, someone waiting on our every need, and best of all - taking our dirty plates away. My husband would say, dessert is his best part of eating out.

My husband and I have always been thankful for good servers, saying "thank you" for everything they give us - a refill on our waters, a pour from our wine bottle, more olive oil, etc. We like good service and really appreciate and enjoy exceptional service. We are generous tippers and never tip less than 15% (even when the service is terrible). We have friends that are servers and know they depend on tips to pay bills and make ends meet. Their job is not an easy one. They have to pretend to be happy even when they are in a bad mood and nice when they have the rudest customers (and we have definitely seen some very rude and stingy customers).

I'm sure servers like getting good tips and even happier when they receive cash. But I would bet they would enjoy their jobs more if people said "thank you" more often and genuinely appreciate their time and effort. Many studies have shown that being appreciated is a better motivator than money - not sure they surveyed servers, but I'm sure it would make it easier to go to work if they knew more people would say "thank you" and really appreciate the work they do.

According to Goldie and her researchers, saying "thank you", expressing gratitude, actually makes YOU "happier, kinder, more generous to others, better able to cope with stress, and less lonely"! And it doesn't cost anything and only takes a second or two to express. Goldie also writes, "In all, thankfulness adds an average of seven years to our lives." I find that amazing.

Next time you are at a restaurant - take out or sit down - remember to say "Thank You" and you may just live another seven years longer!

How else do you show your appreciation to your servers and restaurant staff?

A Salute to our Veterans.

I can't help not being a little self serving in this post - so full disclosure... As some of you may know, I served in the US Navy for almost five years (1980-1985). It was one of the best experiences I've ever had. We were not at war. Times were different. 

I entered the military at the end of summer following my high school graduation. I made my decision when I was in 10th grade. I don't know what prompted my decision, but I was unwavering once I did -- and it was an almost instantaneous decision. It wasn't something I pondered for long. I just knew that's what I needed to do. 

The military helped me to mature. I am very proud of my service to this country, but I am very uncomfortable in being recognized for this service. Perhaps it makes me unique (not many women serve), but certainly not special. 

I salute the men and women who make this decision and commitment -- especially during times of war and conflict. The service people killed defending our country and the values Americans hold dearly have made us the country we are today. Many sacrifices of human life have been made. Families have endured incredible heartache because of this service.

Service in the military is definitely a calling. It is not meant for everyone. So I salute the men and women who have served and will serve and to those families and friends that support this commitment and calling. Thank you!

Photo: 10 February 81. Graduation from USAF Technical Training School, Chanute AFB Illinois. AGAR Sanden 

Feeling sorry for myself.

Over the past week or so, I've been feeling a little down. I didn't get a job that I wanted. It wasn't THE job I wanted, but it was a job that had a lot of pluses. Very little commute, a place where I already had two friends, lots of new and fun opportunities, and a job that I knew I could do. But it lacked the one thing I really wanted in a job -- a place where I could get a tingling sensation of knowing I made an impact on someone's life. Sure, I spinned the job in a way that I could make an impact, but wasn't what I'm really looking for.

Maybe that job doesn't exist - or at least not where I'm looking. What I'm really looking for in a job is to be able to experience moments where someone touched my heart because of what I helped make happen. They don't even have to remember me or know it was me, but I want to see happiness as an outcome.

Several months ago, I was so confident that God told me my new calling or my purpose in life. It wasn't a drastic change from what I was already doing as a consultant, but it was a change. I've focused my job search trying to find that calling. Now, months later I still don't have a job. Maybe I didn't hear God at all, I just thought I did.

I pray an awful lot these days trying to find answers and to hear God speak to me again. I know sometimes He is inattentive, uncooperative and/or late. http://northpoint.org/messages/when-god, but I'm still not feeling the love. I know I'm being irrational. I know God has a plan. I know if it was meant to be it will happen - but please God, give me direction.

What's a girl to do?

Stop the Sunday night madness!

I can't believe I still struggle with falling asleep Sunday nights. I can't seem to shut my mind off. There is no other night of the week that causes me so much grief.

I no longer have thoughts about work and all the projects and deadlines that need to be met on Monday and the entire week - thank goodness. But now I have other thoughts that race through my mind. I keep myself awake rethinking through things.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life and every day I have a new challenge to think about and overcome. The book is definitely thought provoking. My most recent tribulation is remembering my childhood. Why you ask? Because life is about having relationships. I'm trying to recall if something happened with my sister. My sister is 3 1/2 years older than me - four school years. Some of my first memories are kindergarten. I can remember having my shadow profile being done, taking naps, and my kindergarten class room. I can even remember two of the girls in my class (I think). But I can't remember going to school with my sister. I have memories of first grade and second grade as well -- the only grades where my sister would be in the same school as me.

We took summer vacations every year as a family. I remember her being there, but I can't remember playing with her - ever. I remember summers in our neighborhood. We had so many kids on our block that there was always someone to play with. I'm pretty sure we both played cowboys and indians, kick the can, and Frisbee dodge - but I can't ever remember being close to my sister. I know nothing bad happened, or at least I'm pretty sure I'd remember having a fight with her.

Even as adults we aren't that close. I wish we were. I love my sister, but we don't share secrets or life's challenges or celebrations except for the one or two times a year we're together. We talk on the phone, but not often.

So, I have two challenges: 1. How do you get close with someone? 2. How do you shut off your Sunday mind?